Girl, Why You Keep Quoting Marilyn Monroe?!

It has come to a lot of our attentions (meaning: it is not just yours truly who's noticed this, and yes this is an attempt to make my claim more justified) that a plethora of teenage girls these days are quoting Marilyn Monroe on almost every single social network or IM program they can get their overeager hands on. By "quoting", I mean crazily posting an insane amount of her alleged sayings. Posting quotes that one identifies with or believes support an argument is natural and we've all probably done it before--but what's with this craze behind getting Marilyn Monroe's word and wisdom out to the world? I've compiled a list of possible reasons below.


Marilyn Monroe is part of the same alien takeover plan as Steven Spielberg.
I mean, come on! What are the odds that the very same woman who caused a (global?) quoting phenomenon was born in the same century as the movie, ET, was released? Steven Spielberg's motives for directing all those alien films are already pretty shady, but when you add to them the fact that his career took off in very close chronological proximity to the life of Monroe, there's only one conclusion to be reached. What connection would Monroe have to extraterrestrial life, you might ask? Simple: they wanted someone to subdue the masses, and she did the trick. Not only have her "seductive powers" hypnotized males around the world, her words have had more or less the same impact on females, making her an undeniable asset to our enemies from outer space.

Girls think repeating Marilyn Monroe enough times will make them become Marilyn Monroe.
A more plausible (yet equally possible) reason, this would explain a lot. A lot of teenage girls experience insecurity, and perhaps they think that by quoting Monroe they can show the world that: a) they know who Monroe is, b) their personality is just as "feisty" as hers, and c) they agree completely with what she says to the point that they have the potential to actually evolve (the correct term if they view her as superior) into her. This could be either a conscious or subconscious move; however, it is equally sad in both cases. After all, does not their beloved idol proclaim that "if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"?

The members of a secret cult use the quotes as a way to communicate with one another.
Wouldn't we all feel like a bunch of oblivious bastards if that turned out to be true? Here we are, incessantly mocking those girls for their never-ending Monroe quotes, when all the while they've been fooling us all with their super-clandestine method of messaging! What other mundane Internet rituals have more furtive meanings? Is uploading a profile picture of a celebrity or a baby some sort of declaration that you work with the CIA, skilfully disguised so that only your colleagues should find it coherent? Does the usage of the semicolon in a grammatically incorrect way imply that one has become a Cullen? What does the encroachment of the letter U to replace E's and A's in Franco-Arab mean?

I do not pretend to have any intense background knowledge on Miss Monroe's life, nor do I mean to offend her. Perhaps the reason is one of the above, perhaps it's a combination of them all, or perhaps it's something completely different. One thing is certain, though: that shit needs to end.

2 comments:

  1. Genuine.

    If I were asked to describe your writing, I'd call it genuine. That is, genuinely funny, genuinely witty, genuinely unique, genuinely eloquent, genuinely worth reading.

    Genuine is the word.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That really means a lot coming from you!

    Day = made.

    ReplyDelete